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Monday, 9 November 2015

My gonggong

My gonggong has a very big dream
His briefcase is never away from him
He reads he writes he works in his dream
Not to forget his chocolate ice cream

My gonggong is a wise old man
He taught me to be who I am
He told me to be kind and fair
He showed me how to be a man

My gonggong likes to hold my hand
He is happy I wear shirt and pants
He warns me about bad guys out there
Beauty is not what you wear

My gonggong is the man of man
He takes care of us in his way
I do not have to be afraid
Because he is always there

Gonggong I really want you to stay
No maggi fried rice kueh tiow I say
Promise you will take good care
Remember what we used to say
Xinxin is always Gongong's friend

Thursday, 11 June 2015

can't be bothered anymore

they once said you can if u decided to do so, and am quite proud to say i made it, of course with ur help of ignoring me. am really tired of all these. well, won't go bk there anymore, definitely, after all these yrs. yet u still expect me to carry on imprisoning myself, forever? u r just plain selfish, u've found ur happiness, so y?

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

graduating

went to sg few days ago, to collect my grad gown, invitation card & SOR (statement of result). had no place to stay, thank God my previous housies r kind enough to let me tumpang. most of them went bk as it's a weekend, except for one but she was out working most of the time. it felt as if i were checking in into a hotel, a bit lonely but still cool, i own the whole apartment =] 
my lovely thoughtful housie even borrowed me her student card to loan books from the lib, wahoo, actually i wanted to finish the nicholas spark collection there, i read 3, and 2 more to go now, i hope i rmb to bring it on grad day itself to return, or i will be in big trouble 'o'

collected my stuff on sat with my bestie, really glad to see her & bf being such sweet couple, it's not the showy type but from their interaction i can sense the chemical in between them, which reminds me of the times. p-e-r-i-o-d 

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happy birthday mummy, finally bought the cute bread cutter, yay 


i'm not ur backup plan, ur spare tire, please. i dun nid ur sympathy

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

go

this will be the last post bout u, i've had enough, u can't come n leave as u wish, not letting u to decide my mood, let alone my life, my happiness, my future...
now u r the one who leave, then please leave for good, dun ever come bk, just go. thank you very much.

yeah, ranting ranting ranting
i want to leave this place, can't wait to leave, all the thoughts that remain are killing me 

Thursday, 9 April 2015

byebyebyebyebyebye

十年之前我不认识你你不属于我
十年之后我们是朋友还可以问候




it's time to say goodbye
at times u r so far away
at times u r so near
can't figure out
but that's none of my business anymore
it's out of my scope
byebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebeyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye



been exercising every day for 1 week
keep it up, ru
just focus on my goal
and let go of all the past
i can do it

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

一路顺风 祝你幸福



当恋情已走远,我将你深埋在心里面
不舍的泪 在彼此 脸上透明
好过不好过 都已跟你没关系

Saturday, 23 August 2014

before end of year 3 sem 1

was still hoping for hostel in my last post and here my sem has come to an end, left with the finals. really glad that all had come to an end, all the hardships of fyp was finally over. it was a really good and enriching experience, together with both good and not so good memories. 
am really grateful to have nice classmates and housemates this time round. there's a lot to say but my mind is like a whirlpool now. some grades weren't good and really hope that would do well in this upcoming ut 3.
all for now, bye.  

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Dumb

feeling dumb thinking of u. who r u to be on my mind. just teach me how to shake u off. will b totally fine without u. we all have to depend on ourselves in the end. txr, try harder, let go and move on. dun be a fool.

bad news today, was laid off, sort of. was involved in a game project but today i was told to stop, as they found someone better. yup i agreed but was really sad, and still am disappointed. want to learn real stuff, where can i learn, and focus.

tmr gonna go down rp to meet counselor, only then they will decide my eligibility of staying in campus. hope everything turns out well. enuf of negative happenings.

where r u? the one who will accept n love me for who i am. i nid u to hold me tight, tell me not to worry for u will be by my side and everything will be fine.

Monday, 10 February 2014

no celebration holiday

phew, so many things going on for the past few weeks...and now, too bored.
first of all, ggj, this year's theme quite abstract and we decided to do sth different, isn't ggj for us to explore and break norms? and thanks a lot for my bff, it's been a long time since we spent time tgt, and it's awesome to share a bedroom and girls talk. celebrated her bday too, it's an expensive haagen diaz ice cream cake.
fell sick right after i returned home. and lasted for a week. birthday was the same day as lunar new year eve, no celebration at all. sucksssss!!!!
just on the 2nd day of lunar new year, papa & mummy went off to London then Frankfurt. only brother, maid & i at home. quite sick, did not went out, except a quarter-day secondary mates gathering, supposed to continue till night but i surrender. seriously her house is like a resort.








feeling pissed, dun u ever find me again!

Monday, 20 January 2014

right now, feeling really awful, i just wish i could disappear. was about to explode, took a late night walk to empty my mind. a stranger stopped me escorted me bk home, saying it was too late. i know that but i really nid that walk. where can i get a hug

Friday, 10 January 2014

insecure

have tons inside me, i know i shouldn't have these thots but can't help it. wish i could talk to sb who has the time & patience to listen, w/o interrupting or cutting me off. just keep bottling and trying hard to ignore won't make it go away. it just sinks deeper and awhile later, it comes up again.
me dun nid any comforting words, nor do i nid any advice. just a listening ear, with a sincere heart, yet it's so hard. ppl think they have to say sth nice but they're so so wrong.

can i get a hug? deep down am an insecure little girl who nids to be constantly reassured that she's loved.

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Bye 2013

MANY tasks awaiting due to frequent traveling this month. so can't go for outing -.-
today is the last day of 2013, countdown is too mainstream. never like crowds.







go ahead and do it with her, not me. u belong there

Saturday, 28 December 2013

River

today is our family trip, supposed to be happy, but i wasn't. unhappy moments kept happen, enuf of all the scoldings. walked alone in the dark night, nearly lost, yet i wasn't feeling anything. rather i wished i just disappear so they will b happy without me.

Saturday, 21 December 2013

Cheer up

can't get myself to cheer up. no matter what i do. Tried watching movie, playing piano, cycling, reading, doodling...
hrm, had a small box of new puzzle, shall try that later. also felt like blasting songs, but my CD player was taken away and no way i could use mp3, my earpiece is spoilt :-(

Friday, 20 December 2013

only child in house for 1 wk

went sg ytd, sending off bro to qingdao for 1 wk. bad jam there, took us 4 hrs to reach. first met sis's bf, he's going uk to meet sis. am so envy of loving couples, when will be my turn.

during my way bk home, finished watching drama 49 days. i would say it's good.

woke up usual time though only slept at 4am, hrmm. did stuff for mum's clinic fb postings.

oh, i bought ronald mcdoald when bro ordered burger at the airport while waiting to board. will post pics ltr.






i'm gaining weight, it's good? but i don't feel alright

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

confused

here i am again, after so many months. coz i feel the need to write, to express. i was so wrong in the first place, stopped writing, as i'm afraid of letting others knowing my feelings. but now i really need a place to let it out.

what do i want? i myself don't even know. i wish i could just splurt it out but i can't. i don't wish things to get complicated. of course i hate u, no, i don't hate u at all. i want to run away, no, i don't. i'm just too afraid, i don't want to face this. it seems that i'm losing control over myself, and falling back gradually.......




thanks, i felt so happy today...but that stirred things up

Friday, 13 December 2013

iPersonic Personality Test: The Harmony-seeking Idealist

My Type:
Harmony-seeking Idealists are characterised by a complex personality and an abundance of thoughts and feelings. They are warm-hearted persons by nature. They are sympathetic and understanding. Harmony-seeking Idealists expect a lot of themselves and of others. They have a strong understanding of human nature and are often very good judges of character.
But they are mostly reserved and confide their thoughts and feelings to very few people they trust. They are deeply hurt by rejection or criticism. Harmony-seeking Idealists find conflict situations unpleasant and prefer harmonious relationships. However, if reaching a certain target is very important to them they can assert themselves with a doggedness bordering on obstinacy.

Harmony-seeking Idealists have a lively fantasy, often an almost clairvoyant intuition and are often very creative. Once they have tackled a project, they do everything in their power to achieve their goals. In everyday life, they often prove to be excellent problem solvers. They like to get to the root of things and have a natural curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. At the same time, they are practically oriented, well organised and in a position to tackle complex situations in a structured and carefully considered manner. When they concentrate on something, they do so one hundred percent - they often become so immersed in a task that they forget everything else around them. That is the secret of their often very large professional success.


As partners, harmony-seeking idealists are loyal and reliable; a permanent relationship is very important to them. They seldom fall in love head over heels nor do they like quick affairs. They sometimes find it very difficult to clearly show their affection although their feelings are deep and sincere. In as far as their circle of friends is concerned, their motto is: less is more! As far as new contacts are concerned, they are approachable to only a limited extent; they prefer to put their energy into just a few, close friendships. Their demands on friends and partners are very high. As they do not like conflicts, they hesitate for some time before raising unsatisfactory issues and, when they do, they make every effort not to hurt anyone as a result.

Career Advice:
As a Harmony-seeking Idealist you are one of the introverted personality types. Therefore you prefer a quiet work environment where you can intensively deal with your responsibilities and are not disturbed by too many people and repeated distractions. You need a lot of time to dwell on your thoughts, to put them into words and let your ideas take shape.
You are grateful for a certain measure of order and structure in order to achieve this, and being able to deal with one project after the other, thus not having a number of responsibilities at one time. You don’t like being overloaded because it is important to you to deal with things thoroughly. Your capability to concentrate is unusually great and very often you become engrossed in something and forget everything around you.

You are one of the feeler types. This fact is partially the reason that you have a very strong insight into human nature and enjoy dealing with people. You are interested in the people around you and have a real sense for their motivations, needs and abilities. Your talent to see the best in everybody and your keen wish to understand others and somehow contribute to their well-being predestine you to work with people.

Due to your propensity to be introverted you are not into holding major speeches for large audiences. Your real strength lies in working individually with people like therapists, physicians or priests. In those professions, when advancing others in their personal development or to help them in any other way is the issue, you are unbeatable.

You are extremely sensitive, and your social competences are developed above average. As a result you have no problems working with people or being a team member. Still, you should watch out to primarily surround yourself with persons who are similarly profound and eclectic. During the working day you abhor thoughtless, superficial, and insensitive colleagues.

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

the haze is totally crazy

here is me, after 3 weeks (=,=) hey, dun ya gimme that look, see, i've improved, looking at the date, last time it was more than a month for a new blog post
1 of my reasons that i seldom blog now is that i started to keep a diary of my own. it's more convenient and more personal, where i just have to grab my mechanical pencil and jot down my feelings, i get distracted when i switch on my lappy, always end up doing other stuff <('~')> moreover, i get to doodle on my diary as sometimes it's hard to express thru 'appropriate' words, 'web etiquette', whateva

today is my 5th driving lesson, there are 8 altogether (< 2hrs per lesson) before i'll go for the driving test. ikr, 8! can you imagine, we become drivers on road with 16 hrs of learning, that's scary. it sure explained the high accident rate in msia. btw, i hate steering the wheel during parking, so heavy {`-`}


my comic master class by Joe Murray started last week, was busy drawing. was struggling with another online course by coursera at the same time. luckily managed to submit assignments for both courses in time, phew. quite happy with my work though
sneak peak of my works:
mail art assignment correspondence with memory

how recipients take out the inserts from the envelope

character drawings showing 20 specific emotions
sketch out ideas on small notepad (left) before drawing the finals (right)



the haze is killing me, difficult to breathe. and it makes driving much more difficult as can't see clearly what's in front, those inconsiderate ppl, rahhh. 

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

i must be more self disciplined

it's been a month since year 3 started, and i've not returned to school. having my long break while everyone's busy with fyp, undergoing tons of stress. to be honest, i feel relieved not being in the system, free from the tension & stress. yet, i feel like a useless person. ppl are doing great stuff out there and here i am, lolling about at home.

ok, enough of negative thots. it's a bit unfair to say that i did nth over the past 2 mths since holiday. i've been going for art lessons, once or twice a wk. had also went for the undang theory lecture, passed the exam, attended another pre-learning lecture and got my L license, where i'm ready to learn driving. also, been helping out mum with her clinic's facebook & blog posts, website still in progress. and and recently 1 of my ex facis asked if i'm interested in designing a logo for his newly started game company so gave it a try. now trying to get it done as soon as possible coz i've been dragging too looong =(

that's for all now, good night

1 of my works for mum's clinic