confused

here i am again, after so many months. coz i feel the need to write, to express. i was so wrong in the first place, stopped writing, as i'm afraid of letting others knowing my feelings. but now i really need a place to let it out.

what do i want? i myself don't even know. i wish i could just splurt it out but i can't. i don't wish things to get complicated. of course i hate u, no, i don't hate u at all. i want to run away, no, i don't. i'm just too afraid, i don't want to face this. it seems that i'm losing control over myself, and falling back gradually.......

thanks, i felt so happy today...but that stirred things up