trap

was left alone again tues, dad & mum work as usual, bro went to school, kakak followed mum too, to buy  groceries in town. make do with watever that's available in the fridge for my lunch.

for that night, it was a tv meal for everyone as this 步步惊心 is featuring its last episode on channel 8. all my house mates watch that drama too. i think i will miss them. 

was forced to drink that scary milk again. actually it's not that bad but it's just a nightmare to me. i will automatically link it with the days when i was being admitted. every time sb started to discuss or mention this, i would be very emotional, very irritable, very touchy, very sensitive, and never fail to weep, uncontrollably. i just can't do it. helpless. hopeless. how i wish all these had never ever started in the first place, then i won't be trapped in this endless loop, bringing misery to ppl around me.