break? you call this break?

2 weeks is too short a break. with all those ut 2 assignments flooding. couldn't even have a peaceful mind. i just wish everything could just come one by one. but how is it possible. my housemate contributed her voice and the equipment she loaned from RPRC (for her FYP) in my sound design ut 2 assignment. and now she demands that i quickly give it back to her, as in finished my assignment and give her the whole file to include in her portfolio, not in a nice way i would say.

i warning you..............you should appreciate............don't make me feel hurt...............i would let it go if others hurt me............but other ppl might do sth outrageous.........i'm busy so dun disturb, just email me.............

try imagine my feeling upon seeing this. when did i hurt her and i'm not saying i won't give the file to her but now i still editing. i'm ady trying me best as my place here is noisy with all those renovations going on and i dun wanna give out crappy work. i'm ady v v stressed. felt so hurt when i saw this fb msg, and even more hurt when i found out she blocked me.

just came bk from cameron highland. super rare chance for us big family to go on a trip tgt (grandpa, granny & 4 families). this is my 1st time travelling to cameron highland, really cold out there, i even wore gloves and my sweater for winter wear. many details to be shared but not in the mood right now. mind is cluttered with all those unfinished work. i dunno what happen to me, i think i'm really really stressed. tmr i'm going bk to hostel and preparing for school to resume but i don't think i'm ready for it. tears kp rolling down whenever i think of school or work. i'm suffocated, i can't control myself, my tears.

stop before it's too late

saw this while i'm strolling my google reader

finally i'm back home, today i partial, actually wasn't feeling well b4 i went school, still struggling whether to attend class or not. upon thinking how pity jm would be if i din turn up (5 in our team, 1 said not coming, 1 is forever late, 1 is constantly watching random stuff), decided not to leave her alone & dragged myself out of bed, shower and off i went. pain in the ankle and kneepit is killing me once again. rushed to class as i was late, only to realize that jm did not turn up as well. she's sick too, hrmmm...

after 1st meeting, which is 1st break, i couldn't tahan anymore, broke down and cried, in class. luckily most of them have gone out to grab a bite. mr anthony has not gone far, was just outside the classroom and sb informed him. tried to hide my tears but to no avail when he came. he told me to go back and insisted calling my mum. i told him not to as she's busy working. then he asked for my number, gave him, no choice.

good thing my grandpa had appointment in sg today, picked me up after his medical check. so glad to be home, especially when one's not feeling well.

recently was on the brink of collapsing. i can feel it, more than ever, seriously it's coming back, even stronger than before. sth big gonna happen if i continue, though i've been ignoring this fact and tried to brush it away all this while, half of my life i reckon. i am me, no one will know better. others might look at me differently but  i must not joke with my future, if i want to have a future, if ya know what i mean.

so ya, my last piece of word.

i wanna MCssssss, the more the merrier

okay, sim & mod was over. one does not simply afraid that the questions are hard, one does get mindf when the questions themselves are not in right order (and they are all linked !) which one had to scroll up and down to find where the "supposedly previous" question was {_*| not to mention the somehow incomprehendsible questions
nvr mind, what is done is done, focus on the next, which is gonna be today's paper -- character design. well, hope that i could ace this. (-¥-) pray hard

skipped school ytd, feeling unwell, phisically & mentally. been crying a lot these 2 days, have made up my mind on some important issues that's gonna shock a number of ppl, not gonna announce it yet till everything is confirmed & settled.
attended the iip briefing in the evening, however mind was wandering somewhere else, notpaying full attention but i do know what the faci had briefed. discussed bout fyp team after that, still can't be sure that they will not leave me out but i think will have to believe & trust them for now. really really, give thanks to Father & Mother for me to have a team but i wish the team could unleash my potential, not taking me for the sake of taking me. teach me & guide me along instead, don't just take over my work and redo the whole w/o telling me how to improve which makes me feel totally useless & weightless in this team, like a calefare.

enough ranting. aiks, no mc to cover my absence (._.)

james' bday on wed

there you go, shoo, weeds

i know i had been neglecting my bloggie for quite some time and now i'm coming back to pluck the weeds and sweep the web cobs here


so, as you can infer from my frequency of update, this is a busy sem, although there are 2 half-day modules, i still feel it's pretty tiring, and my battery level is on the low side. the to-do is piling up, yet i've been procrastinating, i dunno why am i acting this way but school doesn't seem to suit me, at least at this point of time. i somehow wish i could defer and take a break, do home study or sth similar, work on projects, building my portfolio, rather than rushing nowhere..............\\(..)//

broccoli, tomatoes, mushroom & eggs 

finally i got to visit my own home last week, terrible jam, curse you )(@#*^@ nearly 2 mths nvr went home, i've always thought that i'm not a home person since i'm so used to be in & out of hospital, having long term vacation in those wards. furthermore, nobody bothered to talk to me at home. but i'm wrong, i totally miss my hometown, my family, the piano, those home cooked food, my room, my bed, even my table, my chair.

enough say, am having exams these few weeks, required to play games. for level & world design, it's FarCry 1, which is a first person shooter and i suck at it, where as Battle City, a flash game, is for sim & mod. i'm quite worried for sound design though, hate those theories, i totally not a dj or recording ppl, although i love music, composing & appreciating it are nth same with dealing with those stupid stuff like setting up digital whatever workshop or how microphones work.

finished 1 book this morning -- Oscar & The Lady in Pink 

no idea what to cook, throw in whatever that's easy to cook
tofu, seaweed, tomato, cabbage

till then, good night
Always remember to brush teeth *p*

Rollllllll

You Are the Rolling

You are on your own time table. You hate being confined to strict schedules You have been through a lot, and it's hard to shake you. You can deal with most things that come your way. You are secretly a rebel. You need space and freedom to do things your own way. You are full of wonder and curiosity. You feel a strong connection to the world.

What Part of Baking Are You?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

I am a butter? NOOOO!!! i hate butter

You Are Butter

You're the type of person who works behind the scenes, making sure to bring out the best in everyone else. It's likely that people don't appreciate you for who you are. But people would sure miss you if you were gone. A little of you goes a long way. You have a very powerful impact on the world, even if it's a bit subtle at times. Some people may avoid you out of fear, but there is nothing wrong with you... in moderation, that is!

What Dairy Product Are You?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

tgis

oh, finally it's end of wk 1. bloody shitty tired, nvr ever had a good slp since wed -- character design. had to do 20 silhouettes and i stayed awake from 1.30am, all the way to the next morning just to complete it, see how slow i am. i hate myself to b like this, i d k if i could handle this module or not, this can't be going on for the following 15 wks, i would probably pass out b4 getting that far. and this lack of slp was brought forward to the next day, which is level & world design. i quite like my faci, lawrence but he was just teaching us for 1 lesson .(p'o'q). was v tired and can't do my rj, went to slp and woke up again at 1 to finish it, till friday. i was so so so not feeling well. class starts at 9am, wanted to bathe at 7 but the bathroom was occupied. fell asleep while waiting and the next thing i know it's ady 845. omg, nvr had this happened b4, shocked, had a quick shower. luckily i was not marked late although i arrived class 1 or 2 mins later. faci hasn't start class yet. phew (." ) the same cycle went thru again last night while i was trying to do my rj. so not liking this, and i am pretty determined to end this vicous cycle today >[`-`]<

my 20 silhouettes of a science fiction male hero rebellion leader

felt really bad when i eat a lot at midnight, and uncomfortable too

why on earth 1st day on a friday

friday was 1st day of sem2. had simulation & modelling. anthony supposed to teach us but he was absent that day, so this dominic guy took over, and he is the one who will be teaching us level & world design. all my facis are from last sem, except him, been wondering who he is and what's his teaching style. so now, i've seen all of them.

sim & mod is not my cuppa tea. we are strangers, am starting to worry for the following lessons & the exams now. hope i can get better, trying to persuade myself.

went for a swim ytd morning, hurray for me. dunno why but getting myself to swim always makes me feel great about myself, minus the fact that ppl will look at me. i just simply feel accomplishment, like the feel that i'm in control. went to church in the afternoon. and got wet when i came bk, heavy rain. cold. brrrr

today was a boring one. i'm starting to miss home. even though there's nth much to do at home. over here, i dunno what to cook and what to eat. miserable. i miss my sem 1 bestie too. ljy, if u see this.

1410

happy birthday

mummy, vacation is over = [

school reopen tmr. so fast. i'm anxious like a freshman. shouldn't be. still having 5 days schedule =,= i wish i could have 4 days schedule like my friend. checked my class roster and a lil disappointed. not same class as my cynthia or yuhong. jasmine, deslyn & erlina are quite good fellows too, furthermore stuck with mr D again!!! purleees larh

movie with bff @ square one
finally watching movie wif fren at hometown =]

nice bread, all the way from germany
from mum

granny bought me this @ carrefour b4 coming to spore

bought the tie for my gonggong & the pouch for  mama

  

ya, for my granny, the media pouch

btw, thanks my dear papa for fetching me here personally =)

visit to kl

so game project officially done, sort of. and not even a wk left till school reopen #(┬＿┬)# *emoing* ┐(─__─)┌ what can i do


decided to follow mum to kl, i can do some window shopping & meet up with sec school frens while she's attending her seminar held at sunway hotel. taxi arrived at 4.30am, so early that i had to wake up at 3+, shower and get ready. quite reluctant to get out of bed, which was unusual for me, was rushing my online course assignment till 1am+, barely reached 2 hrs of slp. it's a freezing journey, the air con temp can't be changed, had no idea, prob the car needs servicing. the uncle is talkative, straightforward & kinda funny in his way, calling my mum & her nurses 老妖怪, my sis 圆圆 (+美女after my sis insisted she's one), and me 小妖怪. buay tahan ╮(╯▽╰)╭

as predicted, reached early but luckily we get to check in, dun nid to wait till noon (￣︶￣)↗ went straight to our room, put down stuff, used the washroom, and poof, to the bed. sis & i had our lunch at manhattan, same price as spore, and i mean same, rm=dollars, with 1 or 2 ringgit plus minus. sis was so yeappy, she said must order the expensive ones, ha. 

okay, lazy to type. let the photos do their part


------------------------------------------------------>

2 chefs for the dinner

bought this, after a day of consideration & approval by mum & second by sis

btw, we came bk by bus, which took longer than usual. very very crossed & pissed off (#)'×'( )

wokay, i might be from the rubbish dump

so i nid to rant

shooooo

all you ever care is big sis & lil bro

what they do is always reasonable

no matter how ill mannered they behave

esp lil bro

what am i to you

i d k if you consider me as your child or just a burden

why are you so unfair

why

2 meetups with childhoodies

arr

paranorman!!! yupee, my 3rd movie in spore. 1st was hp7 with jiaying & darryl, where i was so lucky to have darryl's mum to sponsor the ticket fee and even a aston dinner. 2nd was 那些年 with biyuan after drawing field trip at clarke quey. finally here's the 3rd one, 15/9, with my bff joyjoy. we met each other at this piano class at the age of 5, at victoria, i supposed? or is it 3, at vienna? haha, who cares, my point here is it's been a whole solid bloody hell many yrs, you can do the ratio thing if you want to but imma not doing it over here.

norman & family

norman & best fren neil

okay, this is me taking pic in the school toilet b4 rushing off

and, coincidently, just 2 days after the catch-up for movie, i managed to meet with pat, another childhood fren from the same piano class b4 she flied off to uk. still the same, esp after her haircut which gave her the same hairstyle when we first met. all the best, i'll definitely want to go there if i had the chance, and by then i'll surely visit you.

ra

back to hut

here i am, back to my small space. u ask me w-h-y why. mum's at germany rite now, having her dental short course. papa's flying to sri lanka tmr, on a business trip. both will be back on sunday. had a nice swim this morning, just before the rain poured, when i'm in the shower =) asked about the mini game project and got the reply from faci jeremy. it's gonna be a 2-week project, so prob will only go back after that. original plan was to follow grandpa & papa back when they come back from e trip. will c how.

early celebration for my parents' 23rd wed anniversary (10/09) 

dreams bad ones

had a terrible nightmare & an early morning mare, both related even i woke up in between bout 2 hours. lost my appetite for the whole day, i even cried when i woke up. helpless & lonely

am in the school library, waiting for the time to start my project. however kinda lost my way, can't find the exact place. try my luck, use the staircase and somehow end up being at the highest level of a multi-storey car park. and there's no turning back, no door back to where i came out from. there i met 2 bangla, they told me i have to walk down all the way to get out of this car park. so i walk, walk, walk. exit the building, the same scene again from the 1st nightmare -- whole crowded city street, somewhere like kl with commercial buildings & filipinos, indonesians and usual working class bumping into each other. i had no idea wat's going on, was teleported from sg to kl, from school library to busy street.

insomnia

everyone's sleeping
quiet night
the clock's ticking
even the sound of ceiling fan
from living room could be heard
here i am
trying to get myself sleepy
maybe i should just shut this down
and go to bed
everything will be fine
yes it would

can't wait for it to end

1 paper left, hohoho. am reading the readings now, not now now obviously i'm blogging. high level rules, mid level rules, low level rules, finally i sorta understand now after reading pages of pdf

dun really have appetite for dinner, raining heavily and it's cold. do feel a lil hungry, can hear the grumbling of my stomach but just dunno what to have. maybe just feel lazy cooking (for this week i've been cooking for every single meal meaning lunch & dinner) + bored eating those same food. luckily mum & dad bought me an oven toaster the week before when they came & luckily i decided to bought broccoli & tomato this morning after i finished my paper & so just in luck i brought 2 slices of cheese from home that time when i went back. all these coincidence add up i not ending starving myself --> boiled broccoli & half of a  portobello mushroom (from last time), then sliced half of a tomato, topped them with 1 slice of cheese. my dinner! baked portomatocoli with cheese =)

it's so nice to see it in dark, waiting for it to be ready

okay, back to yesterday. i woke up early, dun feel like studying. finished off a book, a very good one indeed, borrowed from sis, 'steal like an artist' by austin kleon

after that i did some doodling, will post them up when i have time but it's really nth much, just random stuff that has no real meaning to others. did sudoku. like i'm having no exams -,- i just nid some personal time to getaway from all these stress. went swimming too around 10. after bathing & busy preparing lunch, my room mate asked to jaga her barang-barang. she's moving out (imma owning the whole room now, if not i've no idea how i gonna survive in such cold days with the air-con on). 

oh ya, i swept my room just now. it's so clean & shiny & smooth, u know it when u slide your feet across the floor

self pampering day

spent some money yesterday, to me it's a lot but mayb it's normal to others

headed down to woodlands polyclinic early in the morning, to collect my blood test report. as it's a saturday, i'm afraid there's going to be a huge crowd and i hate meaningless waiting. however, to my surprise, i get my turn quite fast, around 9+ i'm done +early bird advantage+

since it's still early, i decided to drop by NTUC for groceries, and i bought portobello mushroom, woots
after that, bought my goggles too at causeway point metro, cost me $14.90, at least the size fits, unlike the previous one i bought at NTUC last week, even though i had sort of tried it before buying but when i get into the pool, water kept flow into the goggles, leaving me frustrated and ended up being in the pool for only 20 mins.

bought a $10 top-up card for $11, ridiculous!!! another stuff that i spent on which is more costly is strawberry (wohoho, after a long time).

btw, i received $300 for the award thingy =)

i luv u, leechongwei

final of men's single badminton. this was the first match that i've watched for this Olympic. leechongwei vs lindan. 21-15, 10-21, 19-21. so close to the gold medal, yet still lack of luck. heartbroken when i saw this on tv

 

i want to say, u did great & i'm proud of u!

actually lindan did not perform as well, he made quite a number of mistakes & his emotionally unstable. on the other hand, leechongwei had given us a wonderful performance, nvr seen him played so well b4. i doubt if i would be able to see such an exciting match again

july first & last

woops, unknowingly, nearly a month since the last post. what does this mean? needless to point it out, clearly shows that how busy i've been for the past few weeks. living in hell, okay, not in hell, at least i enjoyed the process even though i felt like being tortured. i think this is what they call passion. 

went for blood test few days ago. waiting for result now. cost me a bomb. $122!!!!!!! wouldn't have done it if i knew it's gonna be so ex  (0# 0) my mentor brought me there after he saw my fb status saying my feet are  swollen. shouldn't have post it, now i'm kinda broke

all UT1 grades have been published, nvr been so disappointed b4. really felt ashamed, my parents had worked so hard yet i gave this kind of result, how unfilial i am, cried ='(

btw, wanted to have a swim but my goggles snapped. luckily i had just bought it for RM5. still i have to buy a new one now.

good nite world

  ()()

(o.o )  <--- say hi to stoning rabbit

gonna slp soon. i supposed, not too sure of it. had a nice swim again this morn, very late one, around 11am+ 

wanted to do some stretching after coming up from the pool but the wind was so strong, really i can feel it's against me, not exagerating, seriously. having realized it's gonna rain soon, decided to just head straight back and have a hot bath.

ya, dozing off while typing now

ate a lot this morning, not normal morning but at a weird timing, somewhere 4 or 5am, while i was cracking brain to figure out my rj, search the net and read up those articles. nom nom nom...the remaining loaf of bread was gone, there's 6 slices!!! (including the top & bottom thinner slice) this nvr happened to me b4. omg omg omg, freaking out...btw i did not ate much after that today for both lunch & dinner

finished all my ut1s ytd but ut2s are on the way. long time din go bk home, missing home food & my family.

oh, i haven update bout my zoo trip last sat. bloody expensive entrance fee ($20), scorching sun was what i could say for the whole trip.